helloimdsy:

120421 LOTTE DFS JYJ in STAR AVENUE

(Source: sexy-xiah)

(Source: addictedofinfinite)

(Source: 14saranghae)

yglovers:

[PHOTOS] SE7EN’s new japanese single LOVE AGAIN. ❤
I can’t wait!!!  

[♠♥♫Adriana♫♣♦]

Changmin’s Diary

1st Jan 
New year. New Diary.
I am celebrating the day with my loneliness as always. 
Is it my fault that I’m different? Is it my fault that I like guys and not girls? Why does everyone ignore me? When will I have friends like others? 
I guess I just have to wait patiently. May be something will happen this year. My heart is telling me that this year is going to be special. & I’ll capture all my memorable moments here… in this diary.
……….
16th Jan
Weird! I am feeling weird. The whole day was kind of weird.
Because of the new transfer student. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He is so… so.. ummm… Pretty!
Note to self : NO. I can’t be like this. People will hate me more.
………
28th Jan
No matter how hard I try to ignore him I just can’t. He attracts me like a magnet. Why Jaejoong? Why? Oh Wait! No! Why Changmin? Why?! Why did you have to stare at Jaejoong when he was drinking? 
……..
4th Feb
That was embarrassing. I got caught while I was looking for him. He was staring at me. Aisshh!!! How embarrassing!!! But wait… He looked at me… HE LOOKED AT ME! For the very 1st time he actually noticed me. Does he know already that I am different from others? Sigh.
P.S. Happy birthday Jaejoong. 
…….
18th Feb
BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER! I got beaten by some jerks (Obviously I am not talking about this unexpected gift). Guess who saved me from those bullies?! JAEJOONG. Kim Jaejoong. I still can’t believe this. He saved me. He beat them up for me… FOR ME? Not only that… He even talked to me.
“Yaaahhh… Are you mad? Why didn’t you fight back? Do you want to die? Do you want to live like this… in fear forever? Stand up for yourself. Arosso? You are bleeding… You should get a bandage.”
This is what he said.. I memorized everything. E V E R Y T H I N G. I am so stupid. Why didn’t I say anything? “You are hurt as well. You should get one too.” – why didn’t I say this to him?
Someone actually talked to me nicely for the 1st time. He talked to me for the 1st time. heard his voice for the 1st time (I have never seen him talking to anyone before). BEST BIRTHDAY EVER.
…….
19th Feb
He didn’t come to class today. I hope he is fine. 
……
20th Feb 
WE TALKED TODAY. WE TALKEDDD!!!
Me : You didn’t come to class yesterday. Are you ok?
Him : Hmm… You?
Me :  I am perfectly fine.  Thanks for asking. 
Am I the 1st person in the class he talked to?
……
28th Feb
I think we are slowly becoming friends. No one dares to bully me anymore. Because of Jaejoong. So I am happy… But he keeps telling me that I have to stand up for myself… He can't always be around. I am trying… I am learning to be strong.
…….
12th March
Kim Jaejoong – My best friend. My one & only friend in 6 years. As much as I want to be honest to him about my feeling, I can’t… I don’t want to lose him. I’ll be a good friend. I promise.
………
18th April 
Sorry Diary. Did you miss me? Actually I am so busy these days. Time flies when I am with Jaejoong. He is a great friend. 
……..
22nd May
The more I know him the more I fall him.  
……..
10th June
There’s something that’s bothering Jaejoong. He seems lost for the last few days. I should talk to him.
…….
27th June
WHERE ARE YOU JAEJOONG? Why is your phone switched off? Its npt like this is happening for the 1st time. You have done this before too. But now it’s been almost 2 weeks. I left you so many voice messages. I am worried. Why are you so cruel? Why didn’t you give me your address?
…….
6th July 
Finally he showed his face today. Feeling relieved. But… He ignored me. I tried to talk to him. But he replied to me only with yes and no. So I left. I think I know what it means. He has realized how I am… And just like others he has decided to abandon me. As you wish Jaejoong. 

*Changmin couldn’t write anymore because his tears were spreading the ink all over the diary*
……..
2nd August
I don’t want to live anymore. 
………

2nd August
It’s been a year since Jaejoong left me. Left me all alone in this cruel world. How could he do this to me? 
Why didn’t you tell me earlier Jaejoong? Why? I would have never known about it if I didn’t get that call from hospital that day. And your feelings? You told me about your feelings only that day? You didn’t want to die because you were scared of losing me? Only 2 hours Jaejoong… I got to live my dream for only 2 hours. We could have made our life more meaningful in those 2 months when you were busy pushing me away from you. It’s weird how we both didn’t realize each others’ feeling when we were together.  And now when you are gone I feel like you are always there… like a shadow… Protecting me… How do I say it? ‘Our love is like the wind. I can’t see it but I can feel it.’ 

*Changmin locked his diary for the next one year. His life has stopped on this one date… As if other 364 days in the year don’t exist for him anymore*

(Source: dbskrandomness, via the-maxiasm)